Want to receive my newsletter every week? Subscribe here. I’ll send you one newsletter a week that’s an energy jolt to you and your business. No fluff, just proven techniques for increasing your resilience and performing at your highest level.
I moved to New York City from Buffalo in 2007. Within the first week I remember a taxi driver telling me, “If there’s something you want to learn, this place will teach you.”
At the time I was too young and inexperienced to fully comprehend the weight of his words, but they turned out to be true.
So today I’ll pass along three of the top lessons I’ve learned from living in NYC.
Find common ground
My credit score was 450 when I moved here. As you can imagine, that can make it rather difficult to rent an apartment, especially given NYC’s low vacancy rate.
After getting turned down by several realtors, I finally got a break because I was wearing a sweatshirt with my college logo on it.
The guy showing me the apartment said, “You went to the University of Buffalo?”
It’s technically the University at Buffalo but since my credit score was 450 it didn’t seem like a good time to correct him, so I just said yes.
He was asking because his wife went there as well. Fortunately, I was very good friends with her. She vouched for me and I was able to secure the apartment even though my credit was horrible.
Lesson learned: Try to find a common ground with people. That’s why when I first meet someone I usually ask what they do for fun as opposed to what they do for work.
This approach works very well and could lead to you forming powerful relationships by standing out from the crowd.
Don’t be afraid to accept help
Within a few months of living in NYC I needed to head back to Buffalo for a friend’s wedding.
I decided to take the train, but miscalculated how long it would take to arrive at the station and how long it would take to get a ticket. I was at the back of a long line and my train was leaving in just a few minutes.
The person in front of me looked friendly enough so I asked if I could cut in front of her.
She asked when my train was leaving, then told me I’d have to cut everyone if I wanted to make it in time.
“Just tell everyone you need to or you’re going to miss your train.”
Cutting one person was bad enough, I definitely wasn’t ready to cut the whole line. When I shared this with her she said, “Do you want to make your train or not?”
I did, so I asked everyone else if I could cut. The responses ranged from apathetic shrugs to aggressive encouragement.
I remember one person said, “Stop asking and start running!”
I made my train and was on the way to Buffalo.
Lesson learned: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you ask, the answer will be yes or no. If you don’t ask, the answer is definitely no.
And if you want people to continue helping you, be sure to share the impact of their assistance. It feels good knowing you’ve helped other people and they’ll appreciate the update.
Go with your gut
I celebrated my 30th birthday about a year after arriving in NYC. By then I had a decent amount of friends so I wanted to celebrate at a club in the Meatpacking District.
Those clubs can be picky in regard to who they let in so I called to ask about the dress code. The woman who answered was friendly but blunt. She simply responded, “You know when you look good.”
No hand holding, just use your head and figure it out yourself.
Fortunately, we got in the club and somehow ended up partying with the cast of Twilight.
Lesson learned: Trust your intuition, leverage discernment then move forward with confidence.
Even if you fail, you’ll be able to learn from the experience and continue moving forward in a meaningful way.
Quick summary:
- Find common ground to accelerate the building of relationships
- Don’t be afraid to accept help; it’s a sign of clarity and confidence, not weakness.
- Go with your gut, it will help you avoid overthinking and stagnation
Terry’s Recommendation Zone
Back in 2015, Dorie Clark provided me with the blueprint to build my business. If you’re looking to build your personal brand, her Recognized Expert® course could give you the blueprint you need as well. This course has helped over 800 professionals, many of whom have gone on to become contributors to major publications, bestselling authors, and sought-after speakers. So if you’re looking to elevate your impact and get your ideas recognized, this course offers a clear system to help you achieve that. You can learn more and sign up here.
That’s all from me. If you’re up for a challenge, commit to contacting someone who can help you next week!
Find me on LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram, or book a 1:1 call.
Forwarded this newsletter? Sign up here.
