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My buddy Mo Bunnel mentioned something during a conversation that I just couldn’t get out of my head.
“People usually live life by drift, drive or design.”
I can’t remember what he said after, but that part stuck with me.
Today I’ll share my interpretation of how realizing which stage you’re in can help.
I’ll tell a few quick stories to highlight each stage but here’s a spoiler alert; living by design is how you claim the life you deserve with unapologetic confidence.
So, stay tuned for that.
Today, at a glance
- Recognize when you’re drifting and learn how to create a clear vision
- Channel your drive with intention, not out of fear or pressure
- Design a life that aligns with your purpose and passions
Read time: 6 minutes
Drift
During my corporate career I worked at Adobe and Facebook. You’ve already heard about all the perks that come with that so I won’t bore you with those details.
But this is the main point of me sharing this with you: I was never truly happy.
I took those jobs because they sounded cool and paid well. I wasn’t excited for my next project or plotting my next move to continue ascending up the corporate ladder.
I was just doing what I thought I should do based on what I thought “success” looked like.
Here’s the issue with that: When you lack purpose, it’s easy for something else to fill that void.
For me, it was alcohol. If it hadn’t been for my wife, Domenique, stepping in, this might have been where my story ended.
That’s the problem with drifting. You could easily end up somewhere you never wanted to be – which is a waste of your time and talent – and the repercussions can be catastrophic.
How to tell if you’re drifting: Do you have a clear vision for your future? One that allows you to make the highest contribution to the world and allows you to live the life you desire? If not, you may be drifting.
What you can do about it: Create a vision for your future that clearly defines the experiences, relationships, and impact you want to have on the world around you. Then pursue it with intentionality and daily progress.
Drive
Although my wife was able to save me, my corporate career felt unsalvageable. Abusing alcohol caused me to underperform at work and I ended up getting fired on more than one occasion.
I started my business out of desperation, not for the lifestyle and financial freedom that so many others preach about.
With a newborn daughter to care for and no steady income, I hustled around the clock to make ends meet. Within 18 months, I hit my first $20k revenue month.
Sounds cool, right? Wrong.
The majority of my revenue came from leading workshops which paid $8k per week. And as you can imagine, there was a lot of competition from other experts when it came to securing these workshops.
As a result, I became obsessed with protecting my role as the preferred choice, which involved a lot of sacrifice.
My uncle died during one of those week-long courses. I skipped the funeral because I didn’t want to get replaced.
I was driven and appeared to be doing well enough, but it cost me.
Beyond that, I had no clue how to get clients for my own business since I was always leading workshops on behalf of another company. I felt vulnerable, just like I did in corporate.
As a result, I walked away from a job that paid $8k per week.
Eventually, I channeled all that drive into something that would be much more fulfilling and lucrative.
How to tell if you’re too driven: Do you truly enjoy your work, or are you more focused on proving yourself, protecting your image, and pleasing others?
What you can do about it: Reflect back on the vision you created. Is all this drive moving you in that direction? If not, it’s time to make a change and start living by design.
Design
Being driven is essential to accomplishing your goals. But once you’ve put in the work, it’s time to reevaluate where you are and reassess where you want to be.
Keep this in mind:
There’s nothing wrong with shifting your vision, and quitting while you’re ahead isn’t the same as quitting.
I’ll share a recent experience to highlight the point.
Completing a single exercise, Ikigai, helped me realize that my vision needed to change.
And it came at the perfect time because internally, I knew I was reverting back to the drift phase.
We talked about Ikigai in a previous issue, but I’ll give you a quick reminder.
Ikigai is a Japanese concept that encourages you to discover what you’re passionate about and what gives your life meaning and joy. You can access a template to complete the Ikigai exercise here.
Here’s where it gets interesting: Compare the outcome of the Ikigai exercise with your vision. Are they aligned?
If not, your vision may be overly influenced by external factors, and you should consider revisiting it.
How to tell if you’re living by design: Do you feel like you’re making the best use of your time, talent, and passion, while still having the ability to engage with the people and experiences that you enjoy?
What to do if you’re not: Complete the Ikigai exercise, revise your vision, and create a roadmap that allows you to make intentional daily progress towards the life you want.
Terry’s Recommendation Zone
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That’s it for now, but here’s a quick recap:
- If you haven’t already, complete the Ikigai exercise to discover your purpose
- Revisit your vision for the future, make adjustments if necessary
- Create Objectives and Key Results to focus on for the next 90 days
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