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Here’s what happened last week.
I sent out a newsletter asking you to vote in a poll about a new AI-powered coaching program I’m developing.
Great response. People voted. Some said yes, they were interested.
Then I realized something that made my stomach drop.
I forgot to tag people in the tool so I could see who voted “yes.”
The whole point of that newsletter was to identify potential coaching opportunities. Now I couldn’t even follow up with the people who showed interest.
So I had a choice.
Wait a week to send another poll (and delay everything—the sales calls, the program development, the launch timeline).
Or send another newsletter right away, even though it felt uncomfortable.
My brain immediately went to worst-case scenarios:
- People will think I’m spamming them
- I’ll get a bunch of unsubscribes
- They’ll find me annoying
But then I remembered something Dr. Michael Gervais wrote in The First Rule of Mastery:
“Our fear of people’s opinions (FOPO) is a hidden epidemic and may be the single greatest constrictor of human potential.”
When FOPO Takes Control
Here’s what was really happening in my head.
I was prioritizing other people’s potential opinions over my own business goals.
I was choosing comfort over progress.
I was letting the fear of judgment delay something that could help people.
And that’s exactly what Gervais warns against. “Rather than looking outside ourselves to see if others approve, we can rewire that mechanism to turn inward and check against our purpose. ‘Am I being true to my purpose?’ becomes the new reference point rather than ‘Am I being liked?’”
So I asked myself “Am I being true to my purpose?”
The answer was yes. This program could genuinely help people. And waiting another week to collect the data I needed wasn’t serving anyone.
The Result? I Sent It.
That second newsletter went out the next day.
More people voted in the poll. I got clearer data on who was interested.
And here’s the kicker, I booked two sales calls that very same day.
If I had let FOPO win, those conversations wouldn’t have happened. Those potential partners would still be waiting for help. And I’d still be sitting on incomplete data.
Three Ways to Beat FOPO When It Matters
1. Check Your Why
Before you let fear stop you, ask: “Is this aligned with my purpose?” If yes, the discomfort is just noise.
2. Focus on What You Control
You can’t control people’s reactions. You can control whether you take action that serves your mission.
3. Remember the Cost of Playing Small
“When we stamp around the world trying to please others and [be] who we think people want us to be rather than who we really are, we live life on their terms, not ours.”
Your Turn: What Are You Delaying?
What action are you avoiding because you’re worried about other people’s opinions?
What opportunity is FOPO costing you right now?
Drop this prompt into ChatGPT:
“Here’s something I’ve been avoiding because I’m worried about what people will think: [insert situation]. How can I reframe this to focus on my purpose rather than their potential opinions?”
Because as Dr. Mike will tell you “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
Your discomfort isn’t a stop sign. It’s usually a signal that you’re about to do something that matters.
The right move rarely feels comfortable. Do it anyway.
You got this,
Terry
PS: If you want to learn more about my AI-powered coaching program and how it can help you break through your own barriers, book a call here. And if you’re interested in Dr. Gervais’s insights on overcoming FOPO, you can learn more about The First Rule of Mastery here.
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